Hello, Got The Right Pair of Shoes?

Hey!

It's about that time of the week again where I get to write something on Marriage & Relationships. I am pretty much excited putting today's piece together and I pray that it will bless you like it has blessed me. Oh yes, please forgive yours truly for last week:: had issues with light in our home.

Okay, moving on, let's talk about one of my favourite things in the world

: Shoes. Girl, you read right! I love quality shoes; you've got no idea.

You all know what it's like to find the perfect pair of shoes at the store (or wherever you find them), only to try them on and they don't quite fit. Most of the time the issue is the shoe being too small.

 

Very recently, my immediate younger sister came around and there was this particular shoe she brought along:: cute is the word. During her stay, I decided to wear the shoe out (after much time of day-dreaming). You see, I had no business wearing this shoe in the first place but I said to myself, "I'll make it fit." The heart wants what it wants.

'I'll make it fit" is not a good philosophy, whether it's shoes you're forcing to fit your feet in or a person you're trying to fit into your life. Like it happened to me while I was in my cute sister's shoes, the end result will always be pain and discomfort. I was limping at some point and it left my pretty feet (yes, my feet are pretty) sore the whole night.

Unfortunately, we've done this and we keep doing this with more than just shoes.

How often in life do we compromise for things we want? We fall in love with something or someone, and even though it's clearly the wrong fit, we try to force it to work anyway and somehow. For some of us, this seems to be the story of our life. At least, our love life.

Two lessons these experience taught me on relationship:

First, It's OK for the shoes not to fit in. Baby, it's okay. It doesn't mean anything bad about you, your feet or the shoes. Your feet is exactly the size God wanted them to be. Even if you have the money and everything about the shoe is perfect for you except that it's half a size too small, you have to release the desire to make it fit and find (or wait) for your right size. You don't have to shrink your foot or grow the shoe. In fact, trying is fighting a lost battle. My Yoruba folks would say, Ko le work. Yes baby, it won't work. I know it could be painful, but trust me, the after effect of trying to shrink yourself (compromise, settle or lower your standards) to fit into a small sized shoe (relationship) to satisfy your need for love and fear of being alone cannot be compared to this other pain of walking away. The wrong fit, in both love and shoes will always leave you with an aching sole (soul). Choose your pain. The saying is, "If the shoe fits, wear it." Not "If the shoe doesn't fit, make it work."

The other thing I've learned is that, There is a shoe for everybody. Find yours. Wear  your size. Wearing an oversized shoe is adorable (I do this a lot at home especially whenever I see a male's shoe and I love it when my little babies try to wear my shoe) but it's not so cute when translated into other things, especially relationships.

Ain't she cute in these? But she won't be if this were a relationship.

Not everybody's pocket can afford some kind of shoes and that is why we get turned down when we make attempt to get the seller sell to us at our own price. Let me bring this closer, you meet someone and you make an attempt for a relationship with this person and this person knows that you cannot afford him or her, so your request is turned down. It's not a statement of pride, but truth is, there are certain people that are oversized (not small this time) for some people. Hence the saying, shoe get size. In plain English, you need to up your game in other to be with this kind of person. This has nothing to do with your financial capacity because unlike buying a shoe, you're not buying this person. On the contrary, quality people like these cannot be bought with money. If you got a quality person with money, then your definition of quality is faulty. By upping your game, I'm referring to your spirit and intellect-- your purpose, motivation, interests, dreams and personality.

I walk into a store to buy a shoe and I'm almost fainting because of the price. But I look at the shoe and it's worth the price (personally, no amount is too much to pay for a quality shoe). What do I do? I simply save for the shoe and I come back and pay for it (most times, I usually don't meet the shoe and it's usually not a good feeling at all). So let's assume this is your situation, what do you do? It's simple: GROW. There is no amount too great to pay for a quality relationship. Unless it's something less than quality you're looking for. However, let's hope that when you eventually can afford this shoe (this person), the shoe would still be available in the market. If you think you're the only one who wants the shoe, you're mistaken. In fact, depending on the quality of the shoe, while still trying to bargain for it, someone who is ready will come and pay for the shoe in your very before. Who no like better thing? 

And this leads me to my next point: never stop growing. You never know when your paths will meet. This is the point that takes me back to pleading with fellow singles like myself, please invest in your single years. It will pay off in your marriage. Don't ever become so preoccupied with your need for a relationship that you forget to grow. Be preoccupied with preparing yourself for whomever God is preparing for you.

And you know where it all begins? It begins with having a functional relationship with the Lord. Being in touch with His Spirit. This way, He creates that desire in you to grow while He's preparing to send your right pair of shoes (in the form of a person) to you. And the goodnews is, when that person eventually shows up, both of you will recognise yourselves as quality. Quality meets quality and the rest is history. If you're yet to be born again or you need to rededicate your life to the Lord, please click here.

Remain blessed.