I chose this title because it appears to me like this has become the motto of most singles today. They dread being single like its some kind of deadly plague and they're desperate for a change of relationship status. So, they go around carrying the aura of need everywhere they go.
How do I know?
Just like we perceive whole people, a person carrying a needy aura can also be perceived.
You know you're with a needy person when he or she says things like, "I need you in my life." "You complete me." "I won't survive if you leave me." "Please, don't let me lose you." "You're all I've got." "I feel like a man (or woman) with you in my life." The list is unapologetically endless.
These words may tingle the ear and excite the heart of a fellow needy person but for someone who's whole and complete all by himself or herself, these words will be a complete turn off. Whole people also need people that are equally whole.
These words may tingle the ear and excite the heart of a fellow needy person but for someone who's whole and complete all by himself or herself, these words will be a complete turn off. Whole people also need people that are equally whole.
Needy people have got a disease in their soul and they feel getting into a relationship with the opposite sex can heal this disease that they've got. They have a void in their soul and they're looking to a partner to fill the void. God and only God can fill the hole (void) in your soul. Don't look to a person (partner) to do the impossible.
Honey, if you think you need a relationship in other to be happy, complete or fulfilled as an individual, then you're not ready to get into one. Stay out of it.
You are ready for a relationship when you don't need one.
Need involves demand and implies that there is something lacking in the life of a person in "need" for a relationship.
The opposite of need is choice, which allows for a decision. A legitimate need eliminates choice. As long as you perceive lack or incompleteness within yourself, every relationship you get into will be, to one degree or another, an effort to supply that lack or bring a sense of completeness. If you feel deficient, you will build your entire relationship on that deficiency, because you will be looking to the other person to supply what you don't have.
There is nothing as beautiful as meeting a single who's whole and there's nothing as disgusting and irritating as getting into a relationship with someone that's relationship-needy. They will choke you if you don't take a break from such people.
Relationship-needy people believe they've got love to give to their partner but unfortunately, they don't. Their kind of "love" is selfish and immature. Immature love says, "I love you because I need you." Mature love says, "I chose to be with you because I want to."
Every time I meet relationship-needy people, I preach only one sermon to them and that is, "A relationship is not want you need. You need to be truly single: separate, unique and whole." It is a matter of your ability to be happy and content whether you are with someone else or not.
You are ready for a relationship only to the extent that you feel whole and complete within yourself, apart from any other person (except God). When you see getting into a relationship as a matter of choice rather than necessity, you are ready.
Until then, get into a relationship with yourself. Date yourself. Court yourself. Learn wholeness by yourself. Learn to be alone. Make yourself happy by yourself. Spend quality time with yourself getting to you. Be content and satisfied in your own company. Strive to be a successful single: one who's complete spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else.
Successful singles find their personal identity and sense of wholeness within themselves and in a relationship with God.
Before signing off, let me drop this personal prayer here with us: "Holy Spirit, I ask that You give me discernment and understanding to partner with You in using my single years to be a better person so I can truly be a blessing to my spouse in marriage in Jesus name, Amen."
You can make that your personal prayer too and never forget to develop yourself fully as a single person. Get completely lost in God. Become so consumed by God that He will have to interrupt you to bring another person into your life. Think of singleness as a blessing and a perfect opportunity for character development.
Thank you for reading. See you next week Monday.
You are ready for a relationship when you don't need one.
Need involves demand and implies that there is something lacking in the life of a person in "need" for a relationship.
The opposite of need is choice, which allows for a decision. A legitimate need eliminates choice. As long as you perceive lack or incompleteness within yourself, every relationship you get into will be, to one degree or another, an effort to supply that lack or bring a sense of completeness. If you feel deficient, you will build your entire relationship on that deficiency, because you will be looking to the other person to supply what you don't have.
There is nothing as beautiful as meeting a single who's whole and there's nothing as disgusting and irritating as getting into a relationship with someone that's relationship-needy. They will choke you if you don't take a break from such people.
Relationship-needy people believe they've got love to give to their partner but unfortunately, they don't. Their kind of "love" is selfish and immature. Immature love says, "I love you because I need you." Mature love says, "I chose to be with you because I want to."
Every time I meet relationship-needy people, I preach only one sermon to them and that is, "A relationship is not want you need. You need to be truly single: separate, unique and whole." It is a matter of your ability to be happy and content whether you are with someone else or not.
You are ready for a relationship only to the extent that you feel whole and complete within yourself, apart from any other person (except God). When you see getting into a relationship as a matter of choice rather than necessity, you are ready.
Until then, get into a relationship with yourself. Date yourself. Court yourself. Learn wholeness by yourself. Learn to be alone. Make yourself happy by yourself. Spend quality time with yourself getting to you. Be content and satisfied in your own company. Strive to be a successful single: one who's complete spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else.
Successful singles find their personal identity and sense of wholeness within themselves and in a relationship with God.
Before signing off, let me drop this personal prayer here with us: "Holy Spirit, I ask that You give me discernment and understanding to partner with You in using my single years to be a better person so I can truly be a blessing to my spouse in marriage in Jesus name, Amen."
You can make that your personal prayer too and never forget to develop yourself fully as a single person. Get completely lost in God. Become so consumed by God that He will have to interrupt you to bring another person into your life. Think of singleness as a blessing and a perfect opportunity for character development.
Thank you for reading. See you next week Monday.
Wow.. So deep!
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